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Can someone please tell me if my poetry is good?

I am trying to start a new hobbie and i recently wrote a poem. This is my first poem and I want to know what you guys think. I dont know if this poem is finished or if i'll add on. I want the truth and i will not be offended by anything you guys tell me. Here it is.......

I love you do you love me too
Do you even care
That I threw my heart out to you
I thought you wouldn't dare
Tear it in two,
Oh and you wouldnt even care
I love you do you love me too

You could have stopped the river
From flowing
I've never been much of a forgiver
I'll tell you it isn't slowing
You could have stopped the river
From flowing

Why am I holding your hand
I squeeze it once, I squeeze it twice
Maybe you don't understand
Or you're just not nice
You treat it like a command
Your heart I swear is made of ice
Why am I holding your hand

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  May 16, 2012 Please login in order to answer
  

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  42 answers
  February 01, 2012 VeronicaNelson

  i really love it. the feeling it gives away as well. i thought i'd give a bit of criticism too, do you mind?
  as pretty as it sounds when you end and begin each stanza with the same line, it might seem like you're trying too hard to keep it up.
  if you feel like it has an ending, you shouldn't add anything and personally, i think it's gorgeous the way it is.
  also, it doesn't always have to rhyme, so don't push that either. it's good that you've got it all covered, the basic parts of what a poem is, and again, i like it.
  keep it up
  xo rony

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  363 answers
  January 31, 2012 fathima

  good :) keep it up !!

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  125 answers
  January 30, 2012 neonsrt

  i like it : )

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  8 answers
  January 30, 2012 BrokenButterfly

  I like it:) I write poetry as well, only it's free form, so it doesn't rhyme, but very good job!

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  115 answers
  January 30, 2012 sjtishrgnd

  Beautiful! I love it! I wish I could write poetry.

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  519 answers
  January 30, 2012 dragana94

  Like it a lot :)))

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  344 answers
  January 30, 2012 Jackie_Walsh

  I think it's a great first poem. I liked the way you started and ended each stanza with the same line. And I could feel the author's (you I guess) frustration that the other person won't respond to her needs. Good job Bryn!

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  53 answers
  January 30, 2012 sceenieweeniemarie

  Woah Thats Better Than What I've Ever Wrote..(: Very Talented At Coming Up With Things Like That.(:

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  5 answers
  January 30, 2012 xXxVikkiixXx

  Really Good...

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  753 answers
  January 29, 2012 vampkisses

  your pretty good (: I like it alot (:

  Replies

  • 
    BrynCannon

    Thanks! :)

    January 29, 2012